The Memory Maker

By Ben Olson
Reader Contributor

Of all the human emotions, grief is perhaps the most complicated — and the most universal. Most of us have lost someone we loved, and there’s not one single method to overcome loss. Thankfully, there are talented people in the community who have dedicated their time to helping others in their time of need.

Michelle Sebern is no stranger to death. She worked at the top of her field as a nurse before retiring during the pandemic. Then she obtained end-of-life doula certification, which enabled her to provide companionship, comfort and guidance to those planning for death, diagnosed with a terminal illness or facing imminent death.

“During my training, I learned how isolating grief can be,” Sebern told the Reader. “I like art with purpose, and I’ve been a longtime fiber artist, so I began exploring how to use my fiber art with this end-of-life space I’ve been in.”

Michelle Sebern, above, poses with a few of her recent memory bears, which she makes for the community for no charge. The bears are made using a deceased loved one’s articles of clothing. Courtesy photo

The culmination of those experiences and talents is Sebern’s new venture, the Memory Bear Maker, in which she uses a cherished item of clothing from a deceased loved one and creates a teddy bear out of the fabric. She charges nothing for the service, preferring instead to give those suffering from grief a free, accessible way to connect with their dearly departed.

Memory bears are popular in the U.K. and Australia, Sebern said, and there are some who make them in the U.S. She made her first bear in October 2024 and posted it to Facebook, where she was met with a lot of interest.

“I’m not charging anything for them, so that makes it popular,” she said. “It’s popular also because sometimes people don’t want to talk about grief so much. This is a tangible way for them to hold something. It starts the grieving process.”

Sebern said memory bears might also appeal to those experiencing grief but might not be interested in a “touchy-feely” group setting.

“This offers them a chance to deal with grief in their own space,” she said.

Sebern has been buoyed by the support she’s received ever since launching Memory Bear Maker.

“Both hospices in town have been really supportive,” she said. “Not only that, but I hear from people who want to learn how to make their own memory bears, too.”

In addition to making bears, Sebern has begun to train others in the art, which has created another community she appreciates being a part of.

For Lisa Bond, the entire process of receiving a memory bear in honor of her brother, who passed away in 2003, has been a healing experience.

“When he died, my sister-in-law said I could take one of his shirts out of the closet,” Bond said. “I just walked over and took one out of the dirty clothes basket because it had his smell.”

Bond took the shirt and hung it in her closet at her then-home in Colorado for 20 years before coming to the realization that she had to do something with his shirt. It was around that time when Bond saw Sebern’s Memory Bear Maker pop up on Facebook.

“After talking with her, I realized it was absolutely the perfect thing to do,” Bond told the Reader. “I got to know Michelle and we had such a soul connection. The whole process — not just making the bear, but also the spontaneous sharing back and forth, because she actually shared some similarities with my brother.”

When Sebern called Bond to let her know the bear was ready to take home, Bond drove to Hope with her new memory bear in the front seat. The bear’s head was looking down at the sushi Bond had picked up for dinner.

“As I pulled into the driveway, I’m not sure how his head got jostled, but I looked over and saw the bear’s head was turned and he was looking out at the lake. The lake was always very special to my brother … it’s always been very special to me, too.

Sebern is lifted up by the many positive stories she’s heard from her clients. One, a man in hospice care, contacted Sebern to make a bear from his clothing for his wife. After he passed away, the bear was given to his wife to help her with his loss.

“That gave him so much peace,” Sebern said.

So far, Sebern has made about 34 bears, which each take about six hours over the course of three days to make. While she doesn’t charge for the service, she does acknowledge the bears are costly to produce. She currently sells stuffing and thread for others to make bears on an Amazon site to help defray the costs, but she’s adamant that the endeavor is not about money. She’s also received thoughtful donations for her efforts, including a $5,000 sewing machine by a generous donor.

“I retired from nursing with intention,” she said. “I was driven by the almighty dollar and by my ego in nursing. When you decide to stop that, it’s nice to do things you want to do with intention, rather than ego or money driving you. I don’t need the money, I want the community more than anything.”

For Bond, the bear remains a tangible reminder of her brother and a touching tribute made by a new friend.

“You know you’re never going to get your loved one back,” Bond said, “but to have a physical thing made out of his clothing means everything to me. He’s sitting here on my hearth now. 

“People sometimes have a hard time asking you about when you’ve had a specific loss because they don’t want to make you sad, but the nice thing about having this bear is they’ll say, ‘Where did you get that?’ and I get to launch not into the deep, dark secrets, but just tell them it’s a bear made out of an article of clothing from my brother who is deceased,” she added. “It’s important to talk about difficult subjects; and, at the end of the day, it’s a gentle reminder of having loved.”

Learn more by searching for Memory Bear Maker on Facebook or contact Michelle Sebern at [email protected].