Taking on the snow

By Kaleb Keaton
Reader Contributor

Here we are Sandpoint; snow is back in town! To many, snow is alluring with the potential it has for recreation or to get out of school. To others, it can be an intimidating factor in which we stress over its removal. And then there are those, such as myself, who have found a way to blend it all together. Snow removal is not only a pain in the ass, but a passion project as well. I love every minute of it. I wanted to share my thoughts on snow removal culture and hopefully give you some crucial insights on how to approach a snow monster the next time it shows its intimidating face.

A critical step in preparing yourself for taking on the snow is intel. You need to be prepared for what kind of snow is coming your way. Unfortunately, this is not always as easy to ascertain as one would think. The weather app on my iPhone always has a slightly varied description of projected weather compared to what Google weather says. Sometimes they’re a few degrees off. Sometimes one has a dark cloud while the other has a lighter one. I’m not sure if they use different radar systems or simply have to distinguish themselves from one another to be cool. Either way, you have to make a call on what brand you’re more comfortable with. It’s kind of like picking between a Mac or a PC. Just don’t go off Schweitzer’s Snow Report. It always has a positive spin on it, therefore you can’t really trust it. I love you Schweitzer, but you could sugar-coat a cat turd and refer to it as a promising pow day.

Once you’ve decided to trust one corner of the internet, the next thing to do is set up tomorrow’s gear. If it’s going to be wetter snow, be sure that you’re accounting for it by picking out water-resistant gear. At the same time, you don’t want to compromise your body temperature, so make sure that you have enough insulation as well. And if you have a blower that uses mixed gas like my old man, know that whatever you wear will soon reek of the toxic fumes it shoots out in addition to the snow. When in doubt, just go with an old plaid work coat, leather gloves and a hat with ear flaps. It may not be as effective in the weather as other gear, but at least you’ll look the part.

Outside of attire, the biggest decision you’ll have when refining your snow removal technique has to be the mechanism of your choice. Do you hit it old school with shovels or are you going to upgrade the mechanical advantage and use a blower? For the record, you’ll always be getting more respect with a shovel, but respect doesn’t mean much when you’re dealing with a throbbing back. My suggestion is that even if you do own a blower, be sure to have a shovel on hand to address the trim. That way a pedestrian walking by will at least momentarily catch you looking as badass as you can be.

So we’ve prepared to the fullest and it’s the night of. What’s left to do? The obvious answer is sleep, however, before we can do that we have to keep talking about and obsessing over the upcoming snow. We have to keep getting weather updates that change little if not at all. We have to bug our friends and family, who eventually get sick of our comments about what a doozy of a snow storm is on the way. Pronounce this with a prolonged sigh followed by muttering “this is going to be brutal” in a way that is tastefully subtle but also loud enough for those around you to hear. 

Unfortunately not everyone understands the pain and commitment required to take on the snow, but if we complain and gain enough attention for it, maybe we’ll eventually earn some well-deserved appreciation for our sacrifices.

Finally, after a restless night, the morning has come! Much like other activities in Sandpoint, such as fishing, skiing and waiting in line for the Festival, there’s a certain sense of pride in being the first one to it. Snow removal is no different. The sooner you’re out and tackling the snow, the better it looks, so for Godsakes don’t hit that snooze button! Throw some whiskey in the coffee for a little added warmth and comfort and get out there. 

Remember, it’s not the first one done with the driveway, it’s the first one to hit the snow. That’s what counts. In fact, the longer it takes you, the more you get to bitch about it later with the aforementioned annoyed friends and family, so don’t rush it. Cherish the crunch of the shovel hitting the white stuff. Feel the pride of putting in labor at the break of day. Relish the hardships of living in North Idaho. Get out there and take on that snow.

Kaleb Keaton is a Sandpoint lifer and a self-proclaimed expert on snow removal culture.