Single in Sandpoint: the Bathroom Blues

By Scarlette Quille
Reader Columnist

There has been an issue puzzling me for several weeks now.

I try to avoid being sucked in to public discussions about other peoples’ life choices. At least for the sake of my own sanity, as I am rather liberal in a community that is a bit on the conservative side. But seriously?  The issue of public restroom usage?

Since when did public restrooms become a safe place for children and other vulnerable types? I mean, a LOT of shit goes down in public restrooms. Where do kids sneak off to smoke the reefer in high school? Where do the junkies shoot up in any given park? Where did the concept and usage of “glory holes” come from? What area in any public facility is used by hundreds of people a day to dispose of various bodily fluids however they choose too?  The public restroom, that’s where. All of these activities and several more that I can not even begin to cover have been going on in public restrooms for decades.

And as a society we have the nerve to be outraged when a person who looks, talks, lives, walks and pays taxes as one gender or another, uses the restroom of the corresponding gender. In all the years I’ve used public restrooms, the only vagina I’ve seen is my own. In fact, I can not recall seeing the vagina of any one else in the CLOSED bathroom stalls next to me. So as far as I know, everyone in there could have a penis, but I really don’t care, because I’m too busy minding my own damn business. But that’s just me.

The argument here is that allowing transgender individuals to use public restrooms the same as anyone else will open the doors for perverts dressed as women to waltz into the ladies room. Meanwhile, the more common safety issues related to public restroom usage, such as poor sanitation, communicable diseases, drug activity and theft are all but ignored. I wonder how many sexual predators have been out there waiting for the right legislation, so they can finally victimize people in public restrooms. Men,  women and children have been attacked in public restrooms and will likely continue to be, despite the state-of-the-art  security system consisting of a sign on the door. I have never seen an armed guard stationed outside a public restroom. This means that anyone can go inside: perverts, drug dealers, people with explosive diarrhea,  just to name a few.  Sending a child into a public restroom unsupervised is a bad choice.

Legislation doesn’t stop sexual predators. If you believe that you cannot safely use the public restroom, don’t. When that becomes impractical, maybe society will eventually come to grips with the fact that we can’t change who people are by trying to marginalize and control them.

The same type of public outrage and discrimination is applied to breast-feeding mothers. Apparently seeing a pair of breasts in public is so shocking and offensive that it causes great discomfort and even appetite loss in some individuals. It’s so bad that some want legislation passed either prohibiting public breast-feeding so that no one is forced to gaze upon a breast  or PROTECTING  A MOTHER FROM DISCRIMINATION WHEN SHE IS TRYING TO FEED HER INFANT. I guess it depends on how you see it.

I have witnessed the bizarre discrimination against breast-feeding mothers first hand. I know people who get super uncomfortable when a woman’s breast is exposed to feed her child, but they enjoy places like Hooters and live for bikini tops falling off when a woman dives into the lake. I have never understood this. When I was breastfeeding my own children I was warned on several occasions how it made people uncomfortable. They informed me where I was supposed to take the baby when we  needed to “do that.”  When I was banished into separate rooms, bathrooms or my car, I would wonder what the big deal was, but I was younger and easier to control then.

Now after breast-feeding four kids, I know the truth. It’s an ugly truth that society isn’t willing to deal with. Fact is, it’s not the mothers that need to be punished and banished from the public eye. The real problem is the baby. Babies are controlling and demanding. They are responsible for their mother’s lack of “modesty.”

The mother has been responding to the little dictator’s every need for days on end. She is sleep-deprived and likely wearing a combination of vomit, slobber and baby shit as accessories. She has bigger problems than who is looking at her breasts. The mother  is powerless against the baby’s demands, and babies are by nature skilled at mind control. If the mother chooses not to feed the baby when it is hungry, who knows what kind of cruel consequences that child will inflict upon her? Honestly. Sooner or later that mother will have to place her breast into the mouth of a hungry, angry, possibly teething  monster, and her choice to postpone the feeding will be used against her.

Realistically, what option does the mother have? Face the disapproval of human beings who are uncomfortable with breasts being used as anything non-sexual, or disappointing her master? I do not understand how any human being on the planet would rather share a space with a screeching infant than risk the possibility of seeing a breast.

People have to relieve themselves, babies have to eat and beer doesn’t drink itself: Those are the laws of nature. Nature is badass and she doesn’t give a shit about your restroom signs or sensitive appetites.

‘Til next time,

SQ