Rings of Power series returns with another (somehow still lackluster) season

By Zach Hagadone
Reader Staff

Near to this date two years ago, I gave a guarded though mostly positive accounting of the first two episodes of the Amazon original series Rings of Power, which mines the appendices of J.R.R. Tolkien’s immortal Lord of the Rings to present a prequel tale of Middle Earth.

In that review, I spelled Tolkien’s name wrong no fewer than eight times — while literally trying to establish my bona fides with Tolkien lore — so maybe I have no credibility left. However, I’m back to say that the rest of the episodes of Season 1 were, to be blunt, mostly duds.

A still shot from Rings of Power streaming on Amazon Prime. Courtesy photo.

I’m not alone in reaching this conclusion. Granted, Rings of Power suffered from the unfortunately common phenomenon of “review bombing,” in which internet trolls pour forth their scorn on a film or series because it dares to feature characters who may not look, talk or love like they think they should based on the “source material.” It’s the artistic equivalent of getting mad at your babysitter because “mom doesn’t make soup that way.” Also, it’s almost always just a chorus of racist/misogynist/homophobic dog whistles.

Anyway the numbers are awfully skewed because of the review bombing, with a majority giving the show five stars but almost as many giving it merely one star, bringing down the average to 3.2.

That’s not fair, but there is a solid argument to be made that Rings of Power misses a lot of marks in the dialogue, character-building and pacing departments. I don’t know that anyone makes a serious case that it’s not fun to look at — I’d wager that the vast majority of its crazy-big $1 billion budget went to visual effects — but most of the dwarves, elves, “harfoots,” proto-wizards, reanimated evil sorcerers and humans who inhabit this version of Middle Earth are frankly insufferable.

The first four episodes of Season 2 dropped in a three-bundle clump on Aug. 29, a fourth episode streamed on Sept. 5 and the subsequent four installments will be released each Thursday on Amazon Prime. 

As of press time, having watched those first episodes — an experience better described as having been “persevered” — I continue to be flummoxed at how the showrunners are so consistently able to make what should be a slam dunk into a backboard brick at every shot.

I don’t know what’s more maddening, hearing Morfydd Clark’s Galadriel roll every “R” that comes out of her mouth like she’s afraid it’s going to roll back down Mt. Doom and crush her; the perpetual wet-diaper face of Robert Aramayo’s Elrond; the two-dimensional, all-capital histrionics of dwarf royals Durin IV and Disa (Owain Arthur and Sophia Nomvete, respectively); or the fact that of all the other cast members, the only ones who feel fully inhabited by their performers are orcs.

Also, I’ve heard the name “Celebrimbor” so many times that it just pops into my head every few hours, which I don’t appreciate.

Don’t even get me started on the so-called “harfoots,” which the show has basically given up pretending aren’t actually really hobbits. This imagining of Tolkien’s little folk combines simpering earnestness with bumbling stupidity and tries to pass it off as brave simplicity.

The characters whom viewers would be familiar with from more mainstream Tolkienania — Isildur and Sauron, albeit in their pre-Lord of the Rings forms — are empty vessels lacking any palpable menace or sympathy, and it’s about damn time this show stops pretending like “the stranger” from the stars isn’t freaking Gandalf. 

Finally, there’s the online roasting going on over how Season 2 has shoehorned Tom Bombadil into the narrative by essentially copy-pasting him from the cutting room floor of Peter Jackson’s LotR trilogy, where he should have been all along.

As with so many of these intellectual properties, there comes a time when the amount of money thrown at a body of artwork erodes its foundations (looking at you, Star Wars). It’s the same phenomenon as the fantasy fail House of the Dragon and the unwatchable streaming adaptation of The Wheel of Time. 

If Amazon couldn’t cobble together a better writing room with a billion bucks to burn on RoP, it tells you all you need to know about what the executives really value in Tolkien’s epic world. 

I’ll just say, it’s no wonder that the orcs are the most believable aspect of the show.