Sh*t my mom says

By Lyndsie Kiebert
Reader Staff

Moms all have their sayings. Some are silly, others are used to keep you in check. Some sayings become more useful the older you get. Here are a select few Lyndsie’s Mom Originals.

Lyndsie Kiebert and her dear mom.

Me: “Hey Mom, you know what?”

Mom: “No, but I know his brother, Who.”

This went in one ear and out the other until I was about 12 years old. In the same way that there are “dad jokes,” this was my mom’s joke. It must have brought her some kind of sick motherly joy to watch me zip my lips for just a second and wonder why she didn’t just say, “What?” and listen intently to each and every whim that came to my little mind. The first time I actually heard what she was saying, I immediately pictured two brothers, What and Who. Now I can’t unsee them. Thanks, Mom.

“It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.”

I was — and occasionally still am — a brat to my mother. As this saying denotes, it’s rarely with my words, but mostly with my wide eyes and rushed cadence. I could be saying, “That’s fine,” when clearly, whatever we’re discussing is not fine. Sure, at 16 I probably thought I could get away with the snotty tone as long as I said the right thing, but Mom always saw through it. Now, I hear her voice every time I craft a response in a heated conversation. Luckily, I think my boyfriend’s only called me out on “how” I said things once or twice over the last two years. That’s improvement, Mom!

“Everything happens for a reason.”

This may not necessarily be an “original” saying, but it’s never made so much sense to me as when my mom says it. My parents always told my sisters and I that practicing a religion would be our personal choice, so this has less to do with God for me as it does with acceptance and forward progress. She’d use it when things didn’t go exactly as planned, providing a comfort that enabled me to look at the future with fresh perspective. Sure, maybe the situation wasn’t what I envisioned, but it’s a path to somewhere. The only way to find out is to be at peace with the circumstances. I repeat this mantra to myself often, and I think of my mom every time.

So happy Mother’s Day to my mom, who says many things that make a whole lot more sense as I get older. And yes, Mom. I was listening. Mostly.