Mad about Science: Wild and successful military tactics, part 1

By Brenden Bobby
Reader Columnist

Warfare encapsulates all of the worst tendencies of humankind into an age-old chain of tragic stories. Amid their chapters, subplots and characters, some of those stories took unbelievably strange turns by applying insane tactical measures that were met with incredible success. No guts, no glory as they say.

As our species is currently embroiled in a number of major conflicts that are tearing apart lives in various places around the world, we’re going to avoid discussing anything in the news. If you’re curious about those, please be responsible in sourcing your information and respectful about how you talk about the conflicts and the people involved.

The Battle of Alesia — 52 B.C.E.

Looking back at antiquity, there were a host of wacky tactics employed by ancient battlefield generals, and Julius Caesar was chief among them.

Itter Castle. Courtesy photo.

This battle took place in September 52 B.C.E. during the Gallic Wars. Caesar had just routed the Gallic king Vercingetorix and pressed his force into a fortified settlement in modern-day Alise-Sainte-Reine, central France. This settlement stood between two rivers, which would make it a prime defensive location for the Gauls. 

Walls and rivers made it difficult for cavalry to cross and utilize their greatest advantage: speed. It also produced logistical challenges for infantry units trying to cross. Infantry would be forced to cross at fords where the water was lowest, slowing them, dampening them and leaving them open to arrow fire — or they’d have to cross over bridges, which could make them susceptible to fire or siege weapons like onagers.

Vercingetorix chose this location very intentionally to draw in the Romans and trap them between the rivers as a second Gallic army came from the south. He intended to pincer the Romans, force them to fight on two fronts and overwhelm them there. Which is exactly what he did, except for the fact that Caesar’s forces knew of the impending attack and built defensive fortifications of their own surrounding the settlement.

Caesar was sieging one target while being actively besieged by another. Essentially, the Romans were the delicious creamy center of a big siege Oreo. Two different rows of trenches were built and watchtowers were erected to monitor the movements of the Gallic relief army. 

Numerous skirmishes and assaults occurred as the Gauls tried to break the Roman defenses; however, the Roman siege works were too much to overcome and the relief army broke apart, only to be chased down and slaughtered by Roman cavalry. 

As hope diminished, Vercingetorix surrendered to Caesar. He was held captive, paraded before crowds of cheering Romans and eventually garrotted in 46 B.C.E.

Things worked out pretty well for Caesar, up until he got stabbed to death.

Battle of Castle Itter — May 5, 1945

The success of this tactic is largely dependent on who you’re rooting for in this conflict. Major Josef Gangl of the Wehrmacht was working with the Austrian Resistance at the tail end of World War II. Much of the Wehrmacht and the SS had abandoned the town of Wörgl and the remainder, led by Gangl, had disobeyed orders from the SS to rejoin their ranks and instead defected to the Austrian resistance.

Actively at war with American soldiers and now a traitor to the SS that would have them killed, the soldiers were stuck between a rock and a hard place. The U.S. was making its way to siege Castle Itter, which had been converted by the SS into a prison camp under the authority of the Dachau concentration camp. It was in Castle Itter that a number of high-profile French prisoners of war were held, including the French tennis star Jean Borotra. 

Most of the guards had fled in advance of the Americans at this point, and the French prisoners armed themselves with munitions left in the castle. They knew it wouldn’t be enough, and a division of SS grenadiers was headed straight for the castle in an attempt to gain an advantageous position over the incoming American tanks.

Based on information about the advancing American and SS troops that he received from the castle’s cook, Gangl was forced into making his decision and rode headlong to the U.S. forces, waving the white flag. 

Rather than completely surrendering, he traveled with the soldiers to the castle just before the SS siege began. The Americans barricaded the gate with an M4 Sherman tank, convened with the French prisoners and set up a defense. A coalition of roughly 40 people — French, American and Wehrmacht — banded together to fight off the SS attackers until Allied relief arrived and surrounded the SS soldiers, capturing about 100 men. 

Gangl was killed by an SS sniper during the battle, but it marked one of only two instances in the war when American and Wehrmacht soldiers fought side by side.

Perhaps one of the most astounding parts of this battle was that Borotra managed to flee the castle three times — including the final time through hordes of soldiers engaged in a firefight — without being wounded. It must have been difficult to run so fast, being weighed down by guts of steel.

Check back next week for some of the wildest military tactics ever seen in human history.

Stay curious, 7B.