Happy Faux Year

By Ben Olson

Blueberry Moscow Mule

Reader Staff

With New Year’s resolutions on a lot of our minds, it’s inevitable that some may try to go off the hard stuff in 2024, whether for good or a period of time. It’s always great to prove that our less-than-healthy habits don’t rule our lives.

With that in mind, here are a handful of mocktails to spirit you into the New Year:

Crodino spritz

The leaded version of this drink is known as an Aperol spritz. It’s a bubbly, refreshing drink that tastes like Italy in the summertime. The alcohol-free version is called a Crodino spritz.

It has the same sunset orange color and refreshingly bittersweet flavor profile, but you can drink several and still operate a vehicle. If you can’t find Crodino, a decent alternative is San Bitter from San Pellegrino, or any Italian soda with a bitter taste.

Fill a serving glass with ice cubes and pour the Crodino into the glass until about halfway full. Add tonic water and some freshly squeezed orange and lemon juice. Add sparkling water for effervescence. Stir with a spoon and garnish with a slice of fresh orange and mint leaves.

Wine-free spritzer

This is a drink my partner and I developed to drink on hot days camping in the woods. The version we make has red wine added, but you can make a N.A. drink out of it that tastes just as good.

Fill a glass with ice and pour in a pomegranate-flavored soda to about ¾ full. Hansen’s used to make a lovely one, but Super 1 stopped carrying it. Winter Ridge sells Izze brand pomegranate drinks and San Pelligrino also has that flavor in its lineup. Next, add a splash of orange juice and a drizzle of Luxardo maraschino cherry juice (this replaces the red wine to give the drink some color) and plop in a cherry. 

Lemon lavender mocktini

This refreshing, not-too-sweet drink combines the lemon zest with the earthy goodness of lavender. It requires lavender simple syrup, which you can make by combining ½ cup water, ½ cup sugar and 1 tbsp dried lavender in a saucepan. Bring to a boil, then turn off the heat and let mixture cool in the pan before straining out the lavender. Combine in a shaker with ice, ¼ cup of fresh lemon juice, 1 ½ tbsp of lavender simple syrup, ¼ tsp grenadine and three dashes of bitters. Shake until cold and top off with club soda. Garnish with fresh lavender. If you add a drop of Luxardo juice, it will add a touch of purple to the drink.

Pineapple-mint mojito mocktail

This is a great fauxito for those who love the island flavors, but don’t want the hangover.

In a cocktail shaker, muddle mint leaves with simple syrup or sugar. Add ¼ cup pineapple juice, 1 juiced lime and ice, shake vigorously and strain into a tall glass filled with ice. Top with club soda. Garnish with a sprig of mint or a slice of fresh pineapple if you have some on hand.

Frosty the Lemonade

Is it a shake? Is it a smoothie? No, it’s Frosty the Lemonade. This concoction is fun for the whole family.

Place ½ cup fresh lemon juice and ½ cup sugar in a pitcher until the sugar is fully dissolved. Add 2 cups of water to dilute and chill. Place the lemonade mixture into a blender, add 6 cups vanilla ice cream and blend until smooth. Garnish with slices of lemon. This is a recipe for 3-4 drinks, so reduce by half if it’s just you and a friend. 

Mock winter sangria

Sangria is a wonderful concoction from Latin countries that combines wine and fruit, but you can make it all alcohol-free with this recipe.

Combine the following ingredients into a large pitcher: 1 diced pear, 1 sliced orange, 1 cup fresh cranberries, ¼ cup fresh raspberries, 2 cups pineapple juice and 2 cups cranberry juice. Let sit in the fridge for a couple hours to let flavors mingle and chill. Add cold ginger ale and serve immediately.

Blueberry Moscow mule mocktail

While many Russians would give you the side-eye if you give them a drink sans vodka, this isn’t Russia and we’ll do what we want, spasibo very much.

Add ¼ cup fresh blueberries to a shaker with ½ lime-worth of wedges and 1 tsp sugar. Muddle and transfer the blueberry mixture to a copper mug with fresh ice. Pour in ginger beer and stir. Garnish with fresh blueberries on a skewer resting on top and a wedge of lime.