A farewell message from Drake the Dog

By Reader Staff

Editor’s note: Drake the Dog was the “author” of “The Straight Poop” column for the Reader from July 2015-February 2018. The below piece is his final dispatch, filed from somewhere up above. He is missed and survived by his two- and four-footed friends and family.

Drake in the first snow in 2018. Courtesy photo.

I’m observing that the Mr. and Mrs. are teary-eyed daily.

They can’t get past the first two pages of the Dog Heaven book their family sent to comfort them.

My kitty sister sits on the floor with paws crossed, channeling me (I taught her how to do that). Is she part Lab?

I am drooling over the fresh organic blueberries (the Mrs. calls them my blueberry cookies) from Costco that are in the airtight jar in the refrigerator — not to mention my really good food that’s still in the garage and the turducken is still in the freezer.

Maybe my new calling will be dog dietitian in Heaven — got to kick this cafeteria up a notch!

Thank goodness I finished all of my favorite Papa Psuka treats from Shakapaw. I loved that they named that place after my one and only trick! 

There is no Costco rotisserie chicken up here! I miss the smell and that savory bird treat! And please beam me down to Schweitzer — I desperately need a snow shower.

Meanwhile, I’m wondering who is going to take the Mr. and Mrs. on a few walks per day? I helped keep them fit.

I’m getting used to my wings. And they have many purposes. When those of you who loved me in my earthly form feel a slight breeze rustle past you, know that it is just me giving you a heavenly wing touch from above.

Till we meet again.

Hugs and slobbery dog kisses,

 — Drake

P.S. To all of the dog-friendly businesses I wrote about in the Reader column “The Straight Poop,” keep the faith! Dog-friendly is the way to go! Step up: Get the good treats. Your four-footed customers will appreciate you and their owners will become loyal customers.