Cruel party

By Ben Olson
Reader Staff

Of all the self-immolations in modern politics, Republican South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem takes the cake. Or should I say dog treat?

Noem is a firebrand acolyte of former-President Donald Trump who was widely viewed as a serious contender for his vice presidential pick. That is, until she killed her puppy, bragged about it in a book, then doubled and tripled down on how the incident is all a hoax perpetrated by the liberal media. Or something.

In her forthcoming book, No Going Back: The Truth on What’s Wrong with Politics and How We Move America Forward, Noem describes an incident when her 14-month-old wirehaired pointer puppy named Cricket attacked her neighbor’s chickens. Noem claimed she “hated” Cricket, calling the pup “untrainable,” “dangerous” and a “less than worthless” hunting dog, which she then led to a gravel pit before shooting it in the face.

In several media appearances after the news broke, Noem appeared to dig in her heels, claiming the tale was an anecdote that showed her willingness to do anything “difficult, messy and ugly,” if it has to be done. She actually tried to include it in a previous memoir, but her publisher apparently nixed the passage, claiming it would not be received well by, well, anyone. 

But Noem persisted, and now her name is synonymous with being a “dog-killer,” which, who knows, might actually help her get more votes if she ran on a ticket with Trump. 

Noem isn’t the first person to run afoul of public opinion concerning dogs. An incident from 1983 came back to bite Republican Mitt Romney during his ultimately losing presidential bid in 2012, when it surfaced that the candidate had strapped his Irish setter to the roof of his car inside a carrier and drove 12 hours to Canada. 

The animal then proceeded to defecate all over the car the entire trip.

Many observers were outraged when hearing about the treatment of the family pet. When asked by PETA about it, Romney said, “My dog likes fresh air.” 

Closer to home, Idaho District 1 Sen. Scott Herndon, R-Sagle, was cited with cruelty to animals in 2012 for apparently shooting a neighbor’s dog. Herndon pleaded not guilty. Two months later, the charge was “dismissed on motion of prosecutor.” The details of the incident are unknown, since the case was sealed by Judge Debra Heise on March 5, 2012.

Taken together, these incidents are not a good look for the political right in America.

Sure, there are some funny moments in cinema involving being cruel to dogs. In The Outlaw Josey Wales, the titular character played by Clint Eastwood made it his schtick to spit tobacco juice right onto the head of passing dogs to shoo them away. In The Life Aquatic, Jeff Goldblum’s quirky character Alistair Hennessey suddenly gets up, asks about a dog, says “Hi” to it, then whacks it hard with a rolled-up newspaper (I’m not condoning hurting animals in any way — the scene is just so unexpected and hilariously portrays Hennessey’s villany).

What’s not funny is how this cruelty seems to be spreading exponentially, and it’s mind boggling how conservative voters continue to shrug and condone behavior that they wouldn’t tolerate in a family member or loved one.

Sandpointians love their dogs. Americans love their dogs. Not too long ago, bragging about shooting a puppy would be enough to ostracize anyone from any political race, no matter the party to which they might belong. In today’s cruel world, however, perhaps dog-killing is the next prerequisite to reaching public office. 

The cover of the January 1973 edition of National Lampoon Magazine featured a picture of a nervous dog with a revolver pointed at its head. The tagline reads, “If you don’t buy this magazine, we’ll kill this dog.”

The joke landed then because it was so wildly inappropriate as to seem impossible. Today, though? That dog just might hunt.