Bangers and meh

By Ben Olson
Reader Staff

“Cheers was filmed before a live studio audience.”
Courtesy photo.

Most critics agree that television is currently experiencing a heyday. Where before it was considered a lesser tier to feature films, it’s now common for A-list celebrities to participate in shows and limited series.

One aspect of the TV show that has remained roughly the same for the past half century is the theme song. It’s only in recent years that traditional theme songs have begun to disappear from new shows.

Some shows have intros that, like Pavlovian dogs, we hear and feel that all’s right with the world. For the next 30 minutes or so, we can sink into the couch and join these fictional characters on their merry adventures. 

Then there are the songs that make you tear out your hair while you scramble to push the “skip intro” button as quickly as possible.

Here are some of my favorite small-screen bangers over the years, and a handful of meh songs that should probably be buried in a vault somewhere.

Banger: The Office (U.S.)

Not only is the U.S. version of The Office one of the most highly praised shows in the history of television, but its title sequence and montage at the beginning of every episode is near perfect. It’s short, to the point and never seems to get old. Composed by James Ferguson, the intro song almost didn’t make it, as producers planned to use a few other options, including a song called “Mr. Blue Sky” by Electric Light Orchestra and “Better Things” by The Kinks. 

Fun fact: The drive-by videos of Scranton, Penn. in the intro were actually taken by actor John Krasinksi, who played Jim Halpert. After learning he was going to be cast in the show, Krasinski decided to celebrate by going on a trip with a couple of friends, during which he filmed the different shots of Scranton. They were ultimately used at the start of every episode.

Meh: Orange is the New Black

When I first heard Regina Spektor’s “You’ve Got Time” as the intro for the show Orange is the New Black, I thought it was pretty cool. Then, after multiple episodes, I grew tired of the screeching, grating quality of the song. It sets the vibe for a show about a prison, but since this series came out before Netflix introduced the “skip intro” button, we were all forced to listen to it over and over again, like our own individual jail sentences.

Banger: Stranger Things

Sometimes a theme song will fit the mood of the show flawlessly. The composition by Kyle Dixon and Michael Stein of the synth band S U R V I V E absolutely stuck the landing for the Stranger Things intro. It’s haunting and dark, with synth elements that give a nod to the decade in which it takes place, but there’s nothing old or tired about it. 

Meh: The Golden Girls

I might be showing my age a bit, but I still remember watching episodes of The Golden Girls with my parents when I was a kid. These feisty senior ladies were living their best lives in some kind of age-restricted community in Miami, tackling heavy subject matters along the way. The theme song, however, makes me shudder. “Thank You For Being a Friend,” by Andrew Gold but re-recorded by Cynthia Fee for the show, is a sappy, unbearable song that didn’t do the series any favors. It’s mediocre at best.

Banger: Twin Peaks

Both the theme song and the music throughout David Lynch and Mark Frost’s Twin Peaks is some of the best in television history. The dreamy instrumental gently washes over the viewer with a vibrato quality, setting the mood for what is truly one of TV’s most iconic and surreal shows. Even decades after its finale, Julie Cruise’s “Falling” is still considered a dream-pop hit, and it has also been celebrated as one of the “Top 100 songs of the 1990s” by New Musical Express, labeling the song, “An eerie ’50s-flecked ballad.”

Meh: Friends

I realize I’ll probably get some hate mail for this, but I remain steadfastly annoyed by The Rembrandts “I’ll Be There For You,” which kicked off every episode of Friends. Sure, it’s catchy. It’s nostalgic. It fits well with the goofy, oversized suit-wearing actors dancing around like dorks in a fountain. But it’s such a cheesy song. Search your feelings, you know it to be true. Rest in peace, Matthew Perry.

Honorable mentions (before listing the final banger, here are some honorable mentions that should be included, not necessarily because the songs are great, but more for their nostalgic properties).

X-Files

For what it’s worth, the X-Files theme song fits perfectly into what the show was all about. It’s a spooky tune created literally by accident, as composer Mark Snow’s elbow struck his keyboard and created the sound that he’d been looking for.

Full House

With that boppy quality that only music in the 1980s achieved, the opening credits to Full House will forever be stuck in my head. Written by Jesse Frederick and Bennett Salvay, the song evokes feelings of family and memories of the past.

Perfect Strangers

This Odd Couple-style show featured two likable characters tossed together into strange, comedic situations. While Larry Applegate was a bit uptight, his cousin Balki Bartokomous from the small Greek Island of Mepos was flamboyant and carefree. The theme song always felt uplifting, with lyrics such as, “Standing tall, on the wings of my dream / Rise and fall, on the wings of my dream / The rain and thunder, the wind and haze / I’m bound for better days / It’s my life, and my dream / Nothing’s going to stop me now.” Cue the ’80s harmonica outro.

Curb Your Enthusiasm

You either hate Larry David or love him to death. I’m in the latter category. The moment you hear that womp-womp-womp-womp intro for Curb Your Enthusiasm’s theme song, you know you’re in for another bout of lunacy that only David can create. The music comes from an obscure piece by Italian composer Luciano Michelini (“Frolic”) that David once overheard in a bank commercial and instantly wanted to use for his cringe-comedy spectacular. The song has since taken on a life of its own on the internet, being used as the go-to meme music to play right after someone screws up badly.

Final Banger: Cheers

Who doesn’t want their home bar to be a little like Cheers? The opening theme for this long-running comedy was performed by Gary Portnoy, who co-wrote it with Judy Hart-Angelo. From the opening piano keys of “Where Everybody Knows Your Name” viewers are instantly transported to their favorite underground Boston bar, where, indeed, everybody does know your name.