Now with more fascism than ever!
By Ben Olson
Reader Staff
A lot of dumb has come from the United States’ descent into an authoritarian dystopia. Here’s what kind of “matter” hit the fan last week:
1. It was a wild couple of weeks in Texas, where Republicans approved a new, aggressively gerrymandered congressional map on Aug. 23, which could gain the state up to five additional Republican seats in Congress. The power grab, pushed and promoted by President Donald Trump, is one of the most blatantly corrupt attempts to gerrymander voting districts in recent history.
As a result, the move ignited a contentious tit-for-tat redistricting effort in other states — most notably California, where voters approved a ballot measure redrawing the state’s map to create five new Democratic seats to offset Texas.
Now, the White House is pressuring other GOP states like Indiana and Missouri to take on their own redistricting gambits. Democratic governors in New York and Illinois have vowed to fight back, too.
My question is: If Republican policies are so popular, why do they need to redraw maps to ensure victory? Why not run on these “popular” policies?
2. In the soft, downy haze of yesteryear, Republicans used to rail against Democrats about issues like “states’ rights” and “federal overreach.” One opinion writer for The Hill penned an article in October 2024 titled, “Kamala’s newest lie: Trump will send the army after you,” about how ridiculous it was that Harris claimed that Trump would deploy the military against his own citizens. The story came after Trump insinuated to a Fox News host that he would consider using the military against his political opponents, or “the enemy within,” as he put it.
Boy, I wonder how the crow is tasting for that opinion writer, because now Trump has deployed almost 2,000 National Guard troops to Washington, D.C. and plans to deploy up to 1,700 more soldiers across 19 states to help ICE with immigration enforcement. Idaho is among the 19 states, most of which are controlled by Republicans.
Videos of the Guard policing D.C. have been posted all over social media, giving the capital an occupied vibe that hasn’t sat well with a lot of Americans.
Trump has claimed the deployment is both to assist ICE’s efforts to round up and deport as many “illegals” as possible, but also to “quickly clear up the crime” in D.C. and other cities, such as Chicago and Baltimore.
It’s worth noting that despite Trump claiming crime was “out of control” in Washington, D.C., the statistics paint the opposite picture.
D.C. Mayor Muriel Bowser noted that violent crime is actually at a 30-year low in the city. As far as other cities in Trump’s crosshairs, Chicago has seen a 40% decline in shooting victims this year compared to the same time period last year, as well as a 30% decline in murder. Baltimore reported dramatic decreases in violent crime, with homicides down 31.6% and nonfatal shootings down 27% compared to the year before.
Though Republican politicians love to rail to their base about “crime-ridden blue states,” crime seems to be spiking in red states. Though there was a brief spike in homicides and violent crime across both red and blue states in 2020 after the pandemic and the murder of George Floyd, violent crime has been on a steady decline for the past 30 years — except in red states, where it hasn’t seen a reduction. In fact, red states (defined as those where Trump won in 2020) have seen a higher combined homicide rate every year going back to the beginning of the century.
But I guess facts don’t fit into Trump’s narrative.
3. Former first lady Michelle Obama famously advised Democrats, “When they go low, we go high.” Democratic California Gov. Gavin Newsom has another thing to say about that.
In a move that has set the internet ablaze, Newsom’s press office account has begun to relentlessly mock Trump’s shitposting style by writing tongue-in-cheek narcissistic, insult-laden posts in all capital letters and littered with needless parentheticals and strange quotation marks (nailing Trump’s childish style). Newsom even ends his posts with Trump’s sterile quip, “THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER.”
Here’s a quick example of a Newsom tweet, posted after Trump’s press conference with Russian President Vladimir Putin:
“TRUMP JUST FLED THE PODIUM WITH PUTIN — NO QUESTIONS, NOTHING! TOTAL LOW ENERGY. THE MAN LOOKED LIKE HE’D JUST EATEN 3 BUCKETS OF KFC WITH VLAD. IS HE AFRAID THE PRESS WILL ASK ABOUT ME??? (AMERICA’S FAVORITE GOVERNOR) AND THE FACT I ‘STOLE THE CAMERAS’ THIS WEEK WITH ‘THE MAPS’? MANY PEOPLE ARE SAYING HE BEGGED PUTIN TO HOLD HIS HANDS (TINY) ON THE WAY OUT. …”
Newsom also reposts AI-generated memes of his face carved on Mount Rushmore, putting down Republican opponents and claiming there were worldwide calls for him to receive the Nobel Peace Prize — all in direct answer to Trump doing the same (and more).
Though the rest of us have had to endure Trump’s diarrhoeal style the past decade or more, it seems his most ardent supporters lost their minds after only a week or two of Newsom’s posts.
Fox News’ Dana Perino certainly missed the joke, speaking of Newsom’s antics: “He’s got a big job as governor of California, but if he wants an even bigger job, he has to be a little more serious.”
I know, right? It’s almost like an elected leader shouldn’t tweet like a self-obsessed 14-year-old with a vengeance complex.
Satire is lost on the foolish.
4. Closer to home, Idaho Attorney General Raúl Labrador recently sent a couple of newsletters that deserve a mention in this compendium of dumb.
First, on Aug. 12, Labrador’s office issued a press release with the title, “Attorney General Labrador Defeats Satan, Again.” My first response, after spit-taking in laughter, was to say, “Oh, good.” It must’ve been a noble battle.
Secondly, Labrador’s newsletter from Aug. 22 stated that the attorney general visited several cities in North Idaho to meet with local leaders.
While referencing Bonner County, Labrador said he met with “Rep. Cornel Rasor, whose Army Surplus store was tragically destroyed by an arsonist last year in a politically motivated attack.”
Over the course of dozens of articles, journalists in the region — including at the Reader — have been careful to avoid even insinuating any political motive to this incident. Bonner County Prosecutor Louis Marshall and Judge Susie Jenson have both stated that the fire did not appear to be political; rather, according to Jensen, convicted arsonist Jennifer Meyer claimed in a statement that she felt the Army Surplus building was “an eyesore,” and she “cleaned up the neighborhood with diesel and a match.”
“Like most people, I jumped to the conclusion that it was a political motive. But that’s not the case,” Marshall said.
Rasor himself has said that he doesn’t know Meyer and has avoided making any speculative statements regarding what led Meyer to burn down the building.
When asked where Labrador got the information that the fire was “politically motivated,” his press office declined to respond, of course. I should expect more from the attorney general of Idaho.
5. The Trump administration halted construction at an almost-finished wind farm because Trump, like the deranged fictional character Don Quixote, hates windmills.
The $4 billion project off the coast of Rhode Island was slated to start sending power to homes and businesses this year. Now, it’s dead.
Since Trump took office, he has canceled almost $19 billion worth of wind and solar generation projects around the country (maybe because he produces enough hot air every day to power every home in America?)
6. In a move that is as unconstitutional as it gets, Trump signed an executive order Aug. 25 that would make burning a U.S. flag subject to criminal prosecution, even though Texas v. Johnson established that burning a flag is protected speech under the First Amendment (nobody tell Trump how U.S. flags are supposed to be properly disposed of).
Trump vowed that anyone who participated in this protected speech would receive a mandatory year in jail.
So where are all of these conservatives standing up for the Constitution?
*Crickets*
That’s what I thought.
An Army combat veteran from North Carolina set an American flag ablaze outside the White House shortly after Trump signed executive order, saying: “I fought for every single one of your rights, to express yourself in however you feel that you may want to express yourself. … I’m burning this flag as a protest to that illegal, fascist president that sits in that house.”
That’s true patriotism, folks.
7. Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kristi “Puppy Killer” Noem announced her department would paint the wall along the southern border black to make the structure too hot to climb.
The only problem? They painted the U.S. side black. That begs the question: Are they trying to keep immigrants out or us in?
8. Finally, despite MAGA Republicans going ape that Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky didn’t wear a suit and tie in the Oval Office while meeting with Trump and Vance earlier this year, Trump conducted a meeting with FIFA World Cup officials where he appeared without a tie and wearing a tacky ballcap that read, “Trump was right about everything.”
Right… except for those 30,000-plus lies he’s told while in office.
