The nature of humanity

By Ben Olson
Reader Staff

I recently attended a memorial service for someone who left a big impact on my life. This was before I began as publisher of this newspaper, when I was sort of floating and trying to figure out the next step after having moved back to my hometown of Sandpoint after some years away. 

I worked odd jobs to pay the rent, one of which was landscaping and tending to a magical garden built by a patient, humble and gentle man.

Sometimes I’d spend an entire day hacking at a stump with a spade and a handsaw. He said he’d rather pay me for the hours to do it by hand than involve power tools. I respected that. 

In our water and food breaks, we’d sit in the shade, hats off to dry the sweat on our foreheads. Instead of talking about the weather or the ballgame the night before, we talked about other things. Bigger things. Love, music, botany, art, politics — no topic was out of bounds, as long as it wasn’t droll. I respected that, too.

Later, after I started up the paper and worked without much of a paycheck for most of the first year, I always made time to drive out to work for my friend with the magical garden, not only for the extra cash but because it kept me grounded. It kept my hands in the soil and my soul feeling full, because some things really are as simple as water, sunshine, food and love.

At his memorial service last weekend, I listened as his family and loved ones told stories that echoed many of my own experiences with him. He led a good life, and he touched many, many others in his time on Earth.

It was during these stories when it dawned on me how much of our daily actions mean to others in our lives. Every one of us. It might be the compliment you get from a clerk at the grocery store, a chance conversation with an old high-school friend, a thoughtful postcard from out of the blue. No matter what, it’s impossible to walk this Earth without impacting someone else, for good or ill. 

Think about that for a moment. Think of your loved ones who have come and gone and what their lives meant to you. It could be something as simple as the way your dad smelled after mowing the lawn on a hot summer day or the important advice your mom offered right before you left for college. Every single person who has touched our lives has helped shape who we are, and vice versa.

This is hard for me to fathom, because while I love certain people, I’ve struggled with feelings of disdain for humanity as a whole most of my adult life. Even at a young age, I questioned how a species capable of such beauty could be responsible for such ugliness, too. It’s that dichotomy of the human race that has baffled us for eons, like how someone like Donald Trump can exist in the same world as Mr. Rogers.

It’s a brutal, careless world. Just like the universe is ever-expanding away from itself, I fear that we humans are drifting away from one another at a rate we’ll soon be unable to correct.

That’s why we need to take care of each other as best we can and remember the important things in life. Like how much of a waste of time it is to spend your days in anger or wallowing in fear. It means listening to those who have walked these roads before and perhaps learning something from their journeys.

It also means acknowledging that no matter how independent and capable we feel, we’re helpless without the friends and loved ones who have helped shore us up our entire lives.

What would you imagine others saying at your own memorial service? That you were short with your co-workers, mean to strangers, miserly with your money and aloof to those who loved you?

What better time than now to change that? We are in control of our own legacies. All it takes is a little effort, compassion and fellowship with those with whom we interact in life.

It’s not too late for us. Sure, we’ll always battle with our human nature, but let’s not forget the beauty we’re capable of. When you see that beauty, it’s something you’ll never forget.