By Ben Olson
Are you funny? Do you often make people lose control of their bodily functions? Do you look like that guy to the right? We might be interested in having you write for the Reader!
Here’s the deal: In this crazy, mixed up world full of anger, political discourse, rudeness and incivility, we think it’s time we all just shut our face holes and laugh a little bit more.
Sounds simple, right? Wrong. Writing funny is hard to do. It’s a skill, like touching the tip of your nose with your abnormal Gene Simmons KISS tongue, or belching the Gettsyburg Address verbatim (verbelchum?).
When talking (or belching), you have the ability to rely on timing and delivery. With the written word, everyone seems to process your writing differently. Like whenever you try to be funny in a text message and instead piss someone off royally.
Before you get all greedy-fingered, you should realize we don’t pay our columnists anything. I might be able to throw a free dining certificate your way from time to time, but don’t count on it.
Interested wanna-be columnists should email Ben Olson at [email protected] with samples of how funny you can be.
No nude pictures, please.